"Ibu, You’re Worrying Too Much": Lessons from a Pasar Seloka Stranger

Last week at Pasar Seloka, while penat lepas chasing after kiddos running here and there dekat Riverside, an elderly makcik stopped me. She had that aura; you know, the kind of calm 🍃 wisdom that makes you pause mid-chaos. 

To summarize it, she said, “Nak, you’ve been worrying a lot. Kadang-kadang benda yang kita risau tu tak jadi apa pun. Sebab apa? Bila tengok balik, apa yang susah sangat? Pernah ke sampai satu hari tak makan? Anak-anak tak makan? Tak ada, kan? Bersyukur, nak. Apa yang kita ada sekarang, bukan kita punya. Anak-anak pun bukan kita punya. Learn to let go. Itu kerja Tuhan. Dia dah tulis rezeki untuk you dan anak-anak. So just count your blessings and live your life.”

BOOM. 🤯 Instant mic drop moment. 🎤

Mom Guilt, Overthinking, and That Unseen Pressure

That granny’s words hit me right in my feels. Because let’s be real; how often do we, as moms, overthink everything? From what’s in our kids’ lunchboxes to whether we’re saving enough for their future. All while forgetting one simple thing: we’ve made it this far.

When have our kids ever gone hungry? (Besides the 5-minute drama when I forgot to tekan periuk nasi 🙄) When have we ever truly lacked anything essential? Sure, maybe no fancy holidays or level "atas" punya handbags, but the basics? Alhamdulillah, cukup.

🔔 A Gentle Reminder: It's Not Ours to Keep

Here’s what really hit me: even our kids, our everything: aren’t really “ours.” We’re just entrusted to guide them. The granny’s words, “Learn to let go,” felt like a permission slip to breathe. To stop carrying the weight of every unknown future scenario.

Life’s already planned out for them and us. What’s written is written. Why stress? Why worry about things beyond our control?

What Does This Mean for Us Moms?

Here’s how I’ve decided to embrace the granny’s advice:

1. Be Present, Not Perfect
   My kids won’t remember whether I folded the laundry perfectly or clean after their mess literally everyday. They will remember the feeling of being truly seen and heard. They'll cherish the moments we spent together, like planning meals, grocery shopping, and those silly evenings selling fruit juice at the playground.
   
   
2. Prioritize Us
   A happy mom = a happy family. If taking that leap to focus on myself feels selfish, I remind myself: I can’t pour from an empty cup. 🥤
   
   
3. Celebrate Small Wins 🏆
   Yusuf nak naik darjah 1? Fateh finish everything on his plate? That’s a win. Adam and Iman gearing up for their big day (read: Sunat) on the 17th? Huge win.
   
   
4. Trust Allah's Plan
   This is the hardest but most freeing part. Rezeki is written. The more I let go, the lighter I feel.

Granny, You’re Right

To that wise granny: thank you. For reminding me that life isn’t about holding on too tightly. It’s about letting go, trusting the process, and counting our blessings.

Moms, let’s do this together. Let’s stop worrying over every little thing and start living for the moments that matter. Because guess what? We’ve got this, okay? 

Now, I need to plan schedule my own “me time” before the madness of 2025 begins. Pray for us. ❤️

PS. To that Granny at Pasar Seloka; if you’re reading this (unlikely, but hey); you didn’t just stop my overthinking; Terima kasih! 🌟