Life Update

This morning, after sending Adam to his Kelas Darjah Khas and having some breakfast, we went to the nearest kedai dobi to bring all our linens, pillows, and comforters out for a deep clean. I must say, for the past 4 months+, my life has existed in a slow-motion blur. If you’ve been wondering where I’ve been, the answer is simple: I’ve been on my bed, indulging in Netflix, and living a little bit of everything daily.

Reading, gardening, baking, cooking, and yes— a healthy dose of doom-scrolling. But my absolute favorite daily routine? Hearing the latest, wildest gossip from my boys about their teachers, friends, and cerita daripada kawan kepada kawan mak dia. I just sit there, nodding along, totally present.

It’s funny how life works. I’m currently living my dream (hmm. sort of) and I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts. I’ve always planned my life strictly up until 40. After 40? Blank space. I don't have a plan, and for the first time, I'm okay with that. I guess. Not sure but am not apologizing for it.

I recently reminded myself of W. Somerset Maugham’s short story, The Lotus Eater— about a man who quits the rat race for a "perfect" life of leisure, only to realize he lost the mental strength to survive anything else when the money ran out. Except in my case, I have 5 mouths to feed, if the main character can live his money for 25 years or less than that, so I'd probably just crash and burn faster. 😂 Kidding!

Right now, I just want to be present for myself and my kids. I wouldn't trade this sweet, quiet life for anything. To be completely honest, I’ve developed a total aversion to socializing or even leaving the house lately. I think, after all these years of running on high gear, the fatigue has finally caught up. It’s taken its toll, and this hibernation is my recovery. Tak tahulah berapa lama. 6 months? A year? Itu kita serah pada "Atas" jelah. I'm open to anything.

That’s it for now. I’m supposed to head out to the car wash nearby this evening. Or maybe not. We'll see if the couch lets me go.